The other night we got pizza…yummy! I was feeling the hunger when I started eating… Eating because I am hungry= good reason. Listening to my body=great. Eating commenced. Because I’m becoming more … “conscious” about my eating, before I grabbed the second to last piece, I stopped. I actually had to ask Angel (my future hubby) “Wait!” “How many pieces did I eat?”… I honestly had no clue… We peered in the box… It was like a damn math word problem. There were 8 slices of pizza total. There were 2 left in the box. Angel had eaten 4. How many slices did Angie friggin eat?
2 slices… okay fine. Good thing I stopped to check in with my body… I felt full- so I stopped. The bigger concern here; while I gobbled, I had totally checked out, disconnected, abandoned my body. I honestly didn’t remember eating the pizza… it was all a blur. If I wouldn’t have stopped… I believe I would have polished off everything. Oh! The messy thoughts: I should eat all of this food in front of me until it’s gone and not waste it. I should clean my plate. Don’t waste food, some people are starving. The silly thing I do in response to those thoughts: Once I start eating, I don’t think until it’s gone. Instead of letting me and my body decide how much I need… I let the amount of food decide… What? This is worth repeating…The amount of food determines how much I eat… not me, the one who has access to my body’s hunger/fullness gauge. That’s just crazy! Food can’t tell when I’m full!! sheeeesh Food does not care if I eat it all or throw it in the garbage… either way, it’s wasted. Basically, when I overeat in the name of ‘not wasting,’ I get to carry around the excess garbage. eeewwee. I mean,… Where is that food going? in my body… Is my body a garbage can? No it’s not… Do I want to carry the extra around with me? F**k NO! Would I overflow the gas tank in my car…so as not to waste gas? Hell NO that would make a mess!
Wasting Food: A thought re-write: My body knows when I am hungry or full. Food doesn’t know that (duh!). Food is the fuel. My body is actually really smart. Listening to my body makes me feel awesome.
Waste food!– it’s okay!
Calm the f**k down… I’m not saying we should all throw out a ton of food. I’m just saying It makes no fricken sense to eat everything off your plate or on the table when you are full. If you are one of those people who ceases eating when you are full- awesome!… Now that I cleaned up my messy thoughts about wasting food, I’m getting there.
A note to food: Dear food, I’m sorry I ignored you and didn’t pay attention to you while you were doing your best to nourish me. I want to pay attention to you and truly enjoy all you have to offer. I know you can’t decide how much I eat, only my body can do that. I know that you are what you are. You really don’t care whether you are wasted in the garbage or in my body. I’ll do the caring part myself.
ps. I love you.