First year of community college; after writing a paper and excitedly entering her office to receive (beg for) her glowing feedback. My college English professor said in a cheerful voice… “maybe writing just isn’t your thing”… Ouch!
A flood of ickiness plagued me. That bitch! I grabbed what she said and my mind had a field day with it. I made it mean that I wasn’t smart and she didn’t like me… from there, I made her “not liking me” mean that I sucked, and I just wasn’t a likeable person… jeeez.
I stewed and steamed… attacked against it… complained to everyone (except her) about it. Ignored her (she deserved it), talked bad about her, fighting… for what? What compelled me to fight so viciously?
Deep down… I was sad. I was fighting an even more hurty feeling. Devastated because I actually believed that I sucked and wasn’t likeable. Whoooaaa… totally crappy thoughts.
All along I thought that she was the cause of my misery. She made me feel that way. If she wouldn’t have said that, THEN I wouldn’t be so mad, so sad. This is all her fault, people need to be careful of what they say. They could hurt somebody’s feelings. I mean a whole bunch of people agreed with me. She shouldn’t have said that! I went round after round beating myself with my painful thinking.
Do you see how nasty (silly) an unsupervised mind can get? We all do it
This is what I coach my clients on… Thoughts! Some thoughts, my clients don’t even realize are there… wreaking havoc on their life.
My professor could have been totally right, it really doesn’t matter… The only thing her feedback meant was she thought writing might not be my thing. Ehh… I didn’t see back then- the truth: She can think whatever she wants. (whoa, that’s a relief)
Here’s the goody… I get to think what I want.
My anger, misery and devastation weren’t because of what she said… It was because of my thinking about it. Goody alert… I actually get to choose what I want to think!! Mind-ninja style
Here’s what I decided to think…(insert coaching here)
Writing really isn’t my thing and that’s totally cool. My thing is being a coach, helping people understand themselves, and showing them how to create the results they want. I’ve got important stuff to say, and tons of people need my help. So… I write. I am a writer.