Bet you can’t eat just one or six

For years I went to the grocery story completely avoiding…the chip aisle.  I thought:  I can’t have those in the house… I love them so much. I’ll scarf down the whole bag.  I won’t be able to control myself.  Those Doritos will be calling me non-stop…As if Doritos had some sort of evil controlling grip on me.

Shoveling by the handful, until my tongue and cheeks burned, reaching the bottom, emptying the crumbs, the bag serving as a trough to unload the ultra coated pieces that have tried to escape down my gullet into my body… or sometimes I would leave 7 chips in the bottom and say to myself, What? I didn’t eat the whole bag! 

Let me just drop a cold hard fact here…Turns out, I didn’t actually love them.  I desperately desired to check out.  Totally zone out of my life, my stress, my schedule, my job… my own bullshit!  OOOOHHH!  More crappy, painful thinking to clean up… for another post.  Eat when your stressed?  Sign up for the Thought Cleanse Workshop, next offering July 21, 2012 9-11 am, Rochester, NY

Truth is, when you love something, you want to savor every delectable moment.

Doritos Experiment: Take something I love to eat and purposefully enjoy the hell out of every single morsel…stop eating the instant I stop loving.  Here’s the account of my experiment

Visual Inspection:  brownish-yellow, triangle-shaped chips with little… burn or grill marks like they are toasted or something?  Also bright, almost fluorescent orange powder coating

The Sniff Test:  I busted the bag open, honestly the oder of …feet. Yes stinky feet… hit me.   meh.  This is interesting… even though Doritos smelled like stinky feet to me, I still wanted to eat them because I thought… I know they smell like feet but I love these.  WTF!?

Chip #1:  The first taste I noticed; salt, then cheesy, crunchy yet a little footy.  I savored the crunch and gently broke it up to savor the powder cheese and corny taste. 

Chip #2:  Again the first thing I notice is the saltiness almost burny on my tongue.  I also tasted the creamy cheesiness.  I crunched it gently and let it get soggy to enjoy the corn flavor… still footy.

Chip #3:  SALT! bitey on my tongue.  I can taste less of the cheesiness and I crunched this one and chewed it faster.  Less footy, less cheesy, less corny.

Chip #4:  Saltiness burns my tongue.  I don’t notice the cheesiness or texture of it as much.  It’s like my tongue is almost numb.  Okay… I realized here.  I’m not enjoying these right now… still I have the thought… but I love these, it’s a treat, I’m relaxing, I WANT them.  Can you see here that even though I am aware that I’m not enjoying them… I still want to keep going because of these old thoughts I have about them… fascinating.

Chip #5:  This one scraped the corner of my lip because I shoved the whole chip in my mouth… ouch! but dammit I love these.  The saltiness, it burns, there is a numbness and I notice a slight film at the back of my mouth.  eewweewww. still I don’t stop

Chip #6:  I can’t really taste it.  My mouth is numb and the chips are sharp.  There is a slime forming at the back of my throat.   eehhhh… I’m not enjoying these.  I stopped.  I asked why would I ever want to keep eating something I’m not enjoying? Why would I want my body to feel uncomfortable?  The only answer, I was ignoring me and my body

The Shocking Revelation:  I don’t really like Doritos

The first two chips were… okay, not bad… I didn’t really like them.  Why would I want to eat a food especially that has no nutritional value for my body that is … okay, not bad?  Here’s the thing, the Doritos didn’t have a grip on me, it was my mind that tormented me and my body.  My mind… I love them so much, I can’t stop.  Actually was complete Bullshit!  Tasting every bite of food… what a fascinating concept

Pay attention! You deserve to love what you love!

I also tried this with Baklava from Aladdins on Monroe…  It was delicious and amazing! Maybe I’ll post that one too.  

Savor and intimately enjoy the hell out of it STOP the second you don’t.

I challenge you to try this with a food you really love and post it here in the comments.   If you like it… share it… spread love

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Maybe writing just isn’t your thing

First year of community college; after writing a paper and excitedly entering her office to receive (beg for) her glowing feedback.  My college English professor said in a cheerful voice… “maybe writing just isn’t your thing”… Ouch!

A flood of ickiness plagued me.  That bitch!  I grabbed what she said and my mind had a field day with it.  I made it mean that I wasn’t smart and she didn’t like me… from there, I made her “not liking me” mean that I sucked, and I just wasn’t a likeable person… jeeez. 

I stewed and steamed… attacked against it… complained to everyone (except her) about it.  Ignored her (she deserved it), talked bad about her, fighting… for what?  What compelled me to fight so viciously?

Deep down… I was sad.  I was fighting an even more hurty feeling.  Devastated because I actually believed that I sucked and wasn’t likeable.  Whoooaaa… totally crappy thoughts. 

All along I thought that she was the cause of my misery.  She made me feel that way.  If she wouldn’t have said that, THEN I wouldn’t be so mad, so sad.  This is all her fault, people need to be careful of what they say.  They could hurt somebody’s feelings.  I mean a whole bunch of people agreed with me.  She shouldn’t have said that! I went round after round beating myself with my painful thinking.   

Do you see how nasty (silly) an unsupervised mind can get?  We all do it

This is what I coach my clients on… Thoughts!  Some thoughts, my clients don’t even realize are there… wreaking havoc on their life.  

My professor could have been totally right, it really doesn’t matter… The only thing her feedback meant was she thought writing might not be my thing.  Ehh… I didn’t see back then- the truth:  She can think whatever she wants. (whoa, that’s a relief)

Here’s the goody… I get to think what I want.

My anger, misery and devastation weren’t because of what she said… It was because of my thinking about it.  Goody alert… I actually get to choose what I want to think!!  Mind-ninja style

Here’s what I decided to think…(insert coaching here)

Writing really isn’t my thing and that’s totally cool.  My thing is being a coach, helping people understand themselves, and showing them how to create the results they want.  I’ve got important stuff to say, and tons of people need my help.  So… I write.  I am a writer.

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How to Have a Great (Wedding) Day…

A bride and her crazy thoughts

I’m sharing only a few of the bitch-ass thoughts that tried to stress me out the weeks before the big day. 

If the colors don’t match it means we will all look really stupid (fffpphhtt!)

I should curl my hair because it’s normally straight and straight is so boring which would mean that I am boring... (What the what?)

If people sit in just the right place- it means they will have a good time (ehhh, I don’t control whether peeps have a good time- that’s up to them)

If people have a good time, then it means I am a winner (HA!, that’s just crazy talk)

AND…Why is having a spotless house even more important on the week you’re get married?  Well, only if you indulge in clean-freak-crazy thoughts like these… omg until I caught myself, these crazies were totally stressing me out. 

When you get married, your tub should be shinin’

If your house is mopped, you will feel good and relaxed saying your vows

If there are no dishes on the counter it means you’re awesome

If all your laundry is put away, then you can really kick back and have a good time

If you have clean sheets it means you will have a good marriage

If your furniture is dusted people will really know you are a good person

If there is no dog hair on your baseboards it means you are superbride and everyone will love and want to be like you…

hahahahaha… Okay it’s getting out of hand – you get the idea, but that’s what our minds do without our permission.  Craziness right?…  Where’s the love?  Fun?  Joy?  Bitch-ass, stealthy thoughts keeping me from lovey-doveyness.  Yep, I said lovey-doveyness…  Shutty.

Here’s the thing; as brides our wedding is special to us and we want it to be perfect.  What does perfect really mean?  Making everything perfect creates misery and stress – the exact opposite of what we are shooting for… (sweetness).   We actually think that hair, invitations, dresses, flowers, rings, cake, shoes, a clean house, sit down dinners, people and bla-bla-bla = perfect.  The only thing we really want, ever, is to feel a certain way.  Ehhh, don’t we want to feel amazing on our wedding day (or any day)?     

I had to tell my mind how this was all going down (Boss style).  I made perfect mean this; I choose to love the shit out of my Angel.  I thought it – on purpose.  It felt amazing…  Perfection!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Oh and you HAVE to check out our amazing photographer… capturing perfection everywhere she goes!  SoniaMaria Photography

Here’s more of our pics if you want to sneak a peek

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ehhh… soooo, yeah… I got nuthin’

ehhh… yeah… I got nuthin’

My mind gets stubborn.  It wants to indulge in crappiness.  I know.  Please, I am a life coach. I know how to boss my thinking- I don’t WANT to think shitty thoughts, but my mind is sneaky and it almost likes it.  ewww- how creepy!  I share my nasty woes with other people and some people really like it and they add to it and it gets bigger… agreeing with the stink.  peeeee–yuuuu…  the shit is gettin’ deep

Breath

I gently and lovingly nudge myself (okay, more like- kick myself in the frickin ass, roll up my sleeves, put on my high boots and…), to go to my laptop and be there.  Of course, I don’t feel like writing,… but I show up anyway.  Why? Because, this is just what I do and THAT is reason enough… and because I knew it would be enough, I made it mean this…

I am enough

showing up- just as I am. 

It’s enough

It’s actually more than enough

It’s plenty

Actually, there is certainly no shortage of shit to write about

It’s exciting to know that my learning never ever stops

I’m not afraid of hard work

I actually love it

Growth and abundance are inevitable

I’ve got the proof

I AM the proof

I know how to tell my mind what the f#*k to do- so that I get what I want!

..and I have it, feels amazing

Guaranteed!  You can always get something from nothing… all you have to do is show up

whew- that’s a relief

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Wings

Yes, You have wings, You do it all, You can fly.  You are fabulous… but…

If you lose your wings…  

It doesn’t mean you are weak. 

I doesn’t mean people won’t like you. 

It doesn’t mean you have to be anything different

It doesn’t mean you are a fake.

It doesn’t mean you can’t rest

Truth is 

You are perfectly human

You are totally real and authentic

Whether people like you or not… it’s none of your business

You have the ability to be the strongest you could be by accepting what is

Yes, You have wings. You do it all. You can fly.  You are fabulous…. but it’s not because you have wings, it’s because you are the you-ness of you.

Sorry if you thought this poem was going to be about these…. ahhhh love these!

 

 

 

 

 

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Dear Chocolate,

This is from Aldi and it’s fabulous

This is HUGE!! (for a recovering foodie)

It was in my house for 18  days and I just finished it yesterday.  It took me over two weeks to eat this chocolate. 

There are 5 individually wrapped bars in the box.  I broke a small piece each day…and savored the hell out of it.  Some days I didn’t have any.  Why?… (this is profound)… because I didn’t want it.

Now, I realize not everyone will relate to dark chocolate per se… maybe chocolate isn’t your thing… or maybe food isn’t your thing…Just try thinking about your… thing (you know you have a thing) 

The old Angie would have eaten this in 2 days or gave it away so that I wasn’t overcome by evil chocolate powers

Chocolate Warlord

Uhm… this is frickin’ breaking news… Do you know what this means?  Okay, okay! I’ll just tell you

I means that…

I am truly connecting with my body

My body is super smart

Things I love don’t ever control me or my feelings

Chocolate (or any other thing/person/place) doesn’t really have evil powers…pheewww

I can truly enjoy things I love

I am becoming a different kind of eater

I actually feel my emotions. I don’t eat them.

I understand why I feel what I feel

I know why I do what I do

I accept myself

I love me

I get to choose

I am free 

I’m free bi#*ches!! Share this if you are against evil chocolate powers

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Sadness feels amazing when you know it is a choice

Stuff happens…

No person is immune to it

When my Doctor told me that it would be a while before I got back to Zumba.  I was bombarded.  My mind exploded with thoughts.  They came hard and they came fast.

I let them come freely and I watched them.

I wrote the thoughts down…they kept coming

So I wrote more.

Later on… I did the most loving thing a person can do for themselves and the world. 

I took the time to understand how my thinking was making me feel …sad, disappointed, crushed, heart-broken.

sweet, free-flowing tears

I consciously chose to think sad thoughts.  I let myself feel pain and it hurt. 

I had to laugh when… my mind tried to get out of it…

asking for Doritos.  Surely, The big bag of Doritos will stop this pain.  Ha Ha- nice try! I am getting to be quite the mind-ninja, especially when it comes to emotional eating.

I also tried picking a fight with the hubs, blaming other people and myself,… cuz anger feels better than sadness.  But I knew, (Mind-ninja skills, again) my mind was creating more pain to avoid deeper pain…wah-hah!

So…I let sadness and broken heartedness hang out with me until I decided… we are done here.   It took a couple days.  I felt, it hurt, but didn’t kill me.

I chose sadness for a bit and it was actually beautiful.

I’m choosing not to continue to indulge in sadness because it doesn’t drive me to take action that gets me what I want.  Hey, I want what I want!

What I really love is love… Love is healing.  I’m choosing happy healthy healing

Let the Kick-Ass-Healing-Fest begin

It starts with at least a week of actually sitting on my ass… not too shabby.

If you like this, Share it… spread love!

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